Shoobridge Funeral Honiton ~ Funeral Devon ~ Funeral Services Honiton

Saying Goodbye
Saying “Goodbye” is never easy. Whether it’s because a child is leaving home, or our best friend has been transferred to a new job, or we are moving to a retirement home, there is often a great deal of sadness. There are other experiences of separation that are painful too, but with all of them there is always at least some prospect of seeing the other person again.

When someone we love dies, however, it’s different. We face the painful reality that the separation is permanent, at least on this Earth. That’s why, whenever possible, it is important to say “Goodbye” to the person before he or she dies. Sadly, we don’t always have the opportunity to do that. Even when we do, it’s often not enough. We may need several more occasions to say “Goodbye” before we feel like we have really finished saying it.

Thoughtful Planning
That’s part of what the grieving process can provide. Thoughtful planning by family and friends together with the funeral directors, clergy, and other caring people, will maximise the healing that comes from lovingly saying “Goodbye” to a person with whom we have shared our life. Sometime there are obstacles to that process, however. One that I have observed a number of times in my work as a pastor and as a chaplain is the desire of the deceased person to “Have nothing done” when he or she dies. “Nothing done” usually means no funeral or memorial services. While no one wants to ignore the wishes of their loved one, it is important to consider the needs of those who are grieving as well. Perhaps agreement on a simplified funeral or even a memorial service can be reached. In that way, we can honour our loved one’s hope to minimise the time and expense for us at this time, while giving others the opportunity to say “Goodbye” to him or her.

While not all of our grief has to be shared in public gatherings and rituals, there is a great deal to be gained with such public expressions of grief. Wakes, or “Calling Hours” as they are now known, are an opportunity to help one another share our feelings about the death of someone important to us.

Facing them now will help to avoid the sometimes serious emotional consequences that can, and sometimes do, afflict us when we do not face death openly.